Christina!!! Christina has won the opportunity to compete in tonight's Drunken Spelling Bee at the Crocodile (8 pm, $10, for the children!).
Here is her winning entry, which judge Bethany Jean Clement described as "a model of economy and sibilance." (To refresh your memory: the contest was to write a 50-word story or prose poem about either spelling or bees.)
Miss Douglas was a strict enforcer. Say the word, spell it, say again. My word: "caterwaul." Nailed it. But I failed to repeat. Denied. Forced to return to my seat, ceding first place to Carrie Castleman ("maraca"). That summer, a bee stung Cousin Jenny and she almost died. All true.
Congratulations to Christina! I cannot wait to duel with you tonight. Everyone else: You should really come to the Bee. There are six civilian speller spots left, which will be given away tonight.
Thanks to everybody for playing. All of your entries were extremely cute and entertaining. Our two runners up are after the jump. They win nothing but the admiration of their peers.
“Venom carried by honey bees.”
The buzzer sounded. Suddenly, an angry black cloud of bees poured out of the microphone. He ran off the stage screaming, waving his arms frantically.
“Next contestant. Your word - defenestrate.”
Panicked, Julie stared out the window and tried to concentrate.
I sit down at the public library computer terminal, glancing around at the people who still read books
I log in and begin to bring up the google page, checking to make sure no one is looking over my shoulder
The internet is a terrifying and mysterious place, filled with mystery, intrigue, and my true goal here
I begin to type
"Hot Bee Boners"
Nearly 3 million
Hooray for us all!