For those of us who like a candy that tastes lightly poisoned, Easter season is a dream, thanks primarily to Brachs' Spiced Jelly Bird Eggs, a disgustingly intoxicating melange of seven different flavors of jelly beans riding the yummy/gross divide. Some are so gross I have to throw them out, but others are so delicious I eventually buy another bag.

The flavors as best I can guess, listed in order of deliciousness:

Color: Red
Flavor: Cinnamon. Like a Hot Tamale's soft and chubby sister. The best.

Color: Green
Flavor: Scope mouthwash. In jelly bean form. Delicious.

Color: Purple
Flavor: Clove mixed with air pollution. Weirdly good.

Color: Pink
Flavor: Minty. Off-brand mouthwash? Okay.

Color: White
Flavor: Like if you stripped all the minty wax from a spool of dental floss, rolled it into a ball, and ate it. Okay.

Color: Black
Flavor: Licorice. If you're into that kind of thing. Not quite the worst.

Color: Orange
Flavor: ?????? Kind of orangey but totally disgusting. If the smell of a bathroom in which someone is trying to squash the fresh poop stink with highly concentrated citrus spray were a taste, it would be this.

Many thanks to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for His Resurrection, without which disgusting Easter candy wouldn't exist.