Um... that came out wrong. Let me start over: some very nice sex researchers at Indiana University are trying to figure out how pet ownership impacts your sex life—your sex life with your partner, sicko, not your pet. "We know a fair amount about how having children affects (mostly hetero) couples' sex lives," writes the lead researcher, "but we know almost nothing about how having dogs or cats affects people's sex lives."

Help 'em figure it out—take the survey.