Finally we turn our eyes to a stunning mystery. Supposedly there is going to be a big celebrity coming-out on May 5th. Naturally it will take place on the cover of People magazine, America's top choice for coming out location after your mom's car while she's driving you to the airport and Denise's basement. But zomgargoyles, who will it be??? Queen La? Zach Quinto? The regretful ghost of Dinah Shore? No one knows! You guys should speculate in the comments please. We hope it's a really exciting person. We hope it's 50 Cent. That would be amazing. Apparently the person is doing a big "coming out tour," so we'll have to guess, though, that's it's someone who's trying to create some celebrity, not someone who already has it.

My guess is Suri Cruise—but, hey, fingers crossed for Malia Obama.