According to the police reports coming in, it's been a good month for heavyweight shoplifters around the city:
A thief boosted the cash register from the Group Health Gift Shop on April 9th, making loud banging noises as he grabbed it from the counter while the employee was in the back room. Also on on April 9th, someone made off with an outboard engine from a fenced yard with a locked gate; the rest of the boat was untouched. A car in the Central District had its window smashed on April 13, resulting in the theft of the car owner's bowling balls (yes, plural). A Leschi woman also had the hood of her car stolen the same night.
And in the "apparently not too insignificant to steal" category:
An employee stocking shelves at a Queen Anne grocery store had his unattended coffee cup lifted. According to the police report, when employees confronted the suspect, the man said "Go fuck yourself! It's my mug now." An altercation ensued between the employees and the suspect, who was arrested for non-aggravated assault. The police report also states that "the suspect then went on to tell officers that he knew the cup was not his, but that his had recently been stolen."
Finally, we have two unusual break-ins to report:
A Beacon Hill residence was ransacked on April 10, with the intruder(s) leaving all the kitchen cabinets open, spreading clothes about, and opening the lids on the washer, dryer, and dishwasher. No items were taken, however, the trespasser(s) left a note next to an open cookbook on the kitchen table that simply said "YUM."
On April 12, a Ballard man heard a noise in his home and found two teenage girls outside, attempting to boost a third girl through an open window and into his house. According to the police report, the exchange went like this: "What are you doing?" asked the man, to which one of the girls replied, "What are you doing here?" The man said that he lived there, and the girl replied, "No, you don't live here." Failing to confound the homeowner with this logic, the three girls fled his property.