Budget Bloodbath: Seattle's forthcoming season of need.

Roasted Duck: Meth-addled employee sets fire to Seattle tourist attraction Ride the Ducks.

No Way to Go: 67-year-old Seattle man fatally run over in McDonald's parking lot.

Smack Talk: UK's National Health Service urged to start prescribing heroin.

iPussymagnet?: Poll reveals women more attracted to men with iPhones.

Priorities in Order: "Catholic sex abuse scandal could trigger donations slump, Vatican warns."

Bad Parents Get Schooled: Both Jon and Kate Gosselin required to take court-ordered parenting classes.

And finally, happy birthday to freaky Scottish songbird Sheena Easton, who shredded her early-'80s good girl image by collaborating with Prince, who helped her with the hit "Sugar Walls," easily the filthiest song to ever crack the U.S. Top Ten, and barely SFW.