The China Syndrome: In the country's second crazy knife attack of the week, man stabs 28 kids at a kindergarten in China.

Meanwhile in Iran: Women with suntans will be arrested for defying Islamic values.

Funny How That Works: "In Jail, Hate-Crime Killer Doesn’t Seem So Hateful."

Awful: Pierce County man murdered in front of his family by psycho who responded to his Craigslist ad.

Skamania County Mystery: 19-year-old woman takes a roadside nap in her Jeep, awakes to find herself tied up in a forest.

End of a Sleazy Era: Following associates' guilty pleas for racketeering- and prostitution-related charges, Rick's and three other Colacurcio-run strip joints will be closed and/or demolished.

RIP Happy Meals: Officials in CA's Santa Clara County move to ban the inclusion of toys in kids' meals that fail to meet nutritional standards.

That's How We Do It in Nebraska: Man calls woman fat, woman bites off chunk of man's ear.

And finally, happy birthday to Eve Plumb, whose fearless portrayal of the drippy Jan Brady will exemplify middle-kid nerdism forever.