In Australia, at least, you're safer in a strip club, gambling club, gay bar, whorehouse, or a massage parlor than you are in a church:

Aussies are safer in a strip club than a church, suggests new government data. According to the latest figures compiled by the New South Wales Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, 1600 people were charged with committing a range of 27 offences in the state's "places of worship'' in 2008. Astonishingly, the data showed only 282 people were charged with the same offences in adult entertainment premises.

"Most people would think of churches and synagogues as sanctuaries in society,'' quoted bureau director Don Wedderburn, as saying. "But maybe that's naive, because the statistics show they are likely to rob, assault or steal from people there like anywhere else.''

The story doesn't tell us how many churches there are in Australia and how many strip clubs, but...

The data showed 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises. Places of worship also took the lead in sexual offences (16), theft from motor vehicles (33), resisting arrest (7) and liquor offences (10). Harassment and threatening behaviour at places of worship (30) was over 50percent more than at places of adult entertainment (13).

So Lake City? Careful what you wish for. Frank Colacurcio Sr.'s strip club is closing... but you might wind up getting a Mars Hill franchise in its place. Don't say you weren't warned.