I am a late twenties, heterosexual male who has broken up, but remains friends, with his ex-long-term girlfriend.
After doing the obligatory post break up time apart phase, we have recently started talking with each other (mostly via email) again in a nice, platonic drama free way. A big chunk of these conversations usually involves her telling me how much better she's doing emotionally, physically, spiritually, blah blah blah. I'm truly happy she's doing so well, in fact, I'm downright excited for the girl, since these things were always such a struggle for her and a big source of tension during our relationship. So naturally I congratulate her on her success and encourage her to keep it up.
I too have been successful dealing with my issues as well: I have overcome my unemployment-induced depression, my business is starting to take off, I've become a lot more extroverted and outgoing, blah blah blah, and all of these things were also a source of tension in our relationship. But when I tell my ex these things I hardly receive any support or encouragement or even interest at all. Initially this didn't bother me since I'm not the needy type that expects a ticker-tape parade for every time I take a shit.
Anyway, this has been going on for a while and NOW it's starting to bug me. Is it selfish of me to expect at least a little reciprocation? An occasional prop here and there would be nice. Isn't that what friends do or am I just a spiritually retarded, self centered prick?
Good Friend Or Borderline Doormat
My response after the jump...
You could be spiritually leotarded, self-centered, or a prick, GFOBD, or all of the above, but the real issue here is what sounds like a bad case of creeping lesbianism.
She's your ex-girlfriend, GFOBD, presumably for a reason. And yet you're seriously writing to an advice columnist to complain about how your ex-girlfriend is failing to meet your emotional needs. That's stage-four lesbianism, GFOBD, and I've never seen a case this severe in a biological male before. Nowhere in the medical literation can I find a single documented incident of a biological male this involved with an ex-girlfriend or this invested in his ex-girlfriend's inability to say or do the right thing. I'm going to give you the same advice I've given to all the totally leotarded lesbians out there who've written to me with similar gripes about their ex-girlfriends. I pray it works:
If talking to your ex-girlfriend (via email or whatever) makes you feel bad, stop talking to your ex-girlfriend.