I need your help. I have entered into a period of my life where I am devoting all my mental resources towards my academics—grad school—and am not interested in dating life or even sex life to much of an extent. Thus I bought a Real Doll so that I may enjoy fantastic masturbation during this loveless period of my life. Unfortunately, while my parents were visiting my mom discovered it (I really did try to hide it, but my place is small), and she reacted very, very badly. You see, my dear mother is a feminist. Not only did she find it shocking and gross, which I expected, she is very upset by the doll and believes that it is an indication that I have lost all respect for women. I honestly do not feel this is true at all. I view myself as a feminist, and I realize this society sexually objectifies women more so than men, but I also believe that I can masturbate with a rubber woman and have wild fantasies and then come back to reality and have respect for everyone—men, women, others. My mother, however, is extremely upset by the doll and I haven't been able to have a civil conversation with her since. I am hoping you could possibly give me some perspective on this matter. Thank you.

Dolled Up

My perspective: your masturbatory routines—including your masturbatory aids/aides—are none of your mother's fucking business. And if your mother is gonna be shocked by something, DU, it ought to be that her son-the-grad-student had 5K to plunk down on a sex toy.

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Your options at this stage are pretty limited. You can either apologize to your mother and tell her whatever it is she wants to hear ("You're right, mom, what was I thinking, making an appointment with a therapist now, mom, throw away the Real Doll...") or you can tell her to fuck off and butt out. It's your dick and you'll stick it in whatever like. You know: your body, your choice?

That said, DU, your claim that you bought a Real Doll so you could "enjoy fantastic masturbation during this loveless period of my life" doesn't quite pass the smell-of-day-old-come-moldering-in-the-lifeless-orifices-of-a-latex-dummy test. I don't care if you want to get it on with simulated females or actual females—I have no stake in your sex life—but most guys manage their loveless periods with fantasies, porn, and their own right hands. And most guys who opt for insanely expensive, life-size, hard-to-hide sex dolls do have issues with women—usually feelings of inadequacy, not superiority—and you might wanna entertain the possibility that your mother is right and that you do have issues with women.

Issues that are nevertheless none of her business.

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