When 'I'm Sorry' Doesn't Cut It: The FBI will launch an inquiry into a possible civil rights violation after a video shot last month showed two Seattle police officers kicking a prone man in the head and threatening to beat the Mexican piss out of him.

Something to Brag About: Reported complaints of Seattle police officers using excessive force against civilians has been on the decline since 2007.

Goddammit: Following Arizona's lead, 10 states are now considering anti-immigration legislation.

Hug It Out: Pope Benedict XVI finally blames the (current) sex abuse scandal on pedophile priests and sins within the Catholic church—instead of the victims and the gays and the media—and calls for "profound purification" for All.

Road Warrior Angel: Police in Switzerland have hired a man dressed in white, with wings and Jesus hair, to stand on the side of the road and caution reckless drivers. "The idea is to provide a sort of concrete protection, to have a real angel telling drivers to be responsible," said Benoît Dumas, a spokesman for Fribourg police.

All that Jazz (har har): Garfield High School dominates national jazz competition—Essentially Ellington—bringing home their fourth win in a decade.

A Fresh Toast in Old Digs: Emerald City Beer Company slated to open in the old Rainier Brewery building on Airport Way South sometime next month. There will be a tasting room.

This is What Cheapness Looks Like, Honey: Woman finds a demonic face in her budget can of pears.

Kagan Loves the Gays, Pass It On: Top GOP strategists plot to stall confirmation of Obama's Supreme Court nominee until the August congressional recess, in part to make the judicial vacancy a 2010 campaign issue, according to private phone conversation leaked to Talking Points Memo.

Kagan on Abortion, Circa 1997: Current Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan urged then-president Bill Clinton to ban late-term abortions, when acting as a White House Adviser.

Nail Their Asses, Please: Haliburton was subcontracted to seal the bottom of the BP Oil well attached to the rig that exploded off the Louisiana coast, which has pumped one hundred and five thousand barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico to date.