Meanwhile in Missouri....

No nudity. No touching. No alcohol. No minors. And no business after midnight. Missouri lawmakers gave final approval Thursday night to a long list of new "no's" for sexually oriented businesses that would segregate them from the community and keep scantily clad employees separate from patrons. The House passed the bill 118-28. The Senate followed suit with a 27-4 vote, sending it to Gov. Jay Nixon. Supporters argued that strip clubs and adult video stores are a scourge on society—contributing to seedy behavior, demeaning women, causing divorces and driving down property values....

[The bill bans] full nudity, alcohol, anyone younger than 18 and touching between semi-nude employees and customers. To ensure strippers are off-limits, the bill requires semi-nude employees to remain on a stage at least 18 inches high and at least 6 feet from customers in a room of at least 600 square feet. The bill also requires sexually oriented businesses to close at midnight and prohibits them from locating within 1,000 feet of homes, schools, churches, libraries, parks, day cares or other sexually oriented businesses.

What shall we call this new law? Prohibition? Hohibition? Nohibition? And it looks like Missouri is going to need a new unofficial state motto. Any ideas? And poor St. Louis—maybe it can secede and join Illinois. More from the Riverfront Times:

The bill—which looked dead earlier this week—was resurrected after Bartle upbraided his fellow Republicans for betraying their morals. "I've grown really frustrated with an overwhelming Republican Legislature that tells people we support family values and that we're social conservatives," said Bartle earlier this week. "And we can't get a regulation of the porn industry through the Legislature!?"

Remember when our overwhelming Republican city council and Greg "Family Values" Nickels passed a similar law here? And remember how Seattle voters repealed the stupid, blue-nosed anti-strip club legislation? Good times.