- "Hello, airport? Can you explain to my judge what's happening?"
Just by being born, she proved that two people made entirely of garbage can produce a human child. Then she became the rare Disney starlet blessed with what appeared to be honest-to-God acting talent—a distinction that earned her the approbation of such powerful would-be mentors/mother-corrective figures as Tina Fey, who was unfortunately discarded as Lindsay set about distinguishing herself as a hard-partying trouble girl who wasn't above showing her genitalia to the world for free. Then she had a legitimately interesting sub-career as an unapologetic bisexual, but soon crazied her way out of that and reverted back to the hard-partying trouble girl....and now she's wanted by the police.