Stands for "Bitchtits Penisface." BP delays their next attempt to stop the bajillions of gallons of oil gushing into the Gulf: "BP officials have emphasized that none of the methods have been tried before at the depth of this leak, and Mr. Suttles noted the difficulties of working at such depths in explaining why the attempt was being delayed."
Nature Really Hated Those Two. Brittany Murphy's husband found dead of "natural causes."
Did Anyone Else Hear Sawyer Say, "Have Fun at Your Concert, Anus"? Lost is finally fucking over—with a big romantic reunion where everyone gets to bone their loverz in heaven.
I Swear I Know More About This Woman's Vagina Than I Do About My Own: Venus Williams plays tennis in a slutty tutu. Because why not.
If I Can't Get a Clear View of Mt. Rainier I'm Going to Kill Myself. Aurora Bridge gets a suicide fence.
I Was Going to Make Fun of This Dumb Statistic, But It's Actually Kind of Amazing. Worldwide deaths of children under 5 drop from 11.9 million in 1990 to a projected 7.7 million in 2010.
Awesome. I'm Never Sleeping (or Eating) Again. Woman's left breast "ravaged by gangrene" then cut off after motherfucking brown recluse spider bite. "They call it the smell of death."
Wait, Nevermind! Sean Hayes to host this year's Tonyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Acting lessons with James Franco: