Sorry this is so late. I had a slight mishap involving my brain. It is still technically morning, though.
It Stopped! Seriously, You Guys, It Stopped! (But Seriously Seriously, We Don't Know Yet if It Stopped.) BP says we'll know about top kill success in 48 hours.
Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em. "A 74-year-old man brutally beat a woman with a hammer late Thursday night, leaving her with deadly injuries before jumping to his own death, Seattle police report."
Say a Little Prayer. Gary Coleman is comatose following a head injury.
Will You Go to the Dance With Me? Check Yes, No, or Don't Know. "White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel called upon his old boss, former President Bill Clinton, to serve as an intermediary last year to see if Rep. Joe Sestak of Pennsylvania would not mount a primary challenge to Sen. Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania."
There Is No Un-Releasing the Kraken. Sex and the City 2 cannot be stopped.
Doing a Heck of a Job. India's leaders facing criticism after Maoist rebels kill hundreds in train attack. "Even as rescuers were working desperately to free hundreds of passengers from the twisted wreckage of the Gyaneshwar Express near Sardiha, 100 miles south-west of Kolkata, in the early hours of this morning, the Congress party-led administration of Manmohan Singh was under attack for being unable to stop a string of increasingly violent attacks."
This Just In: Grilling Yourself in a Hot Pocket Sleeve May Not Be Great for Your Skin. "People who use tanning beds to keep that year-round glow are dramatically increasing their risk for developing melanoma, the deadliest of skin cancers, a new study finds."
Also, Shaving Your Legs Cures Lupus. Study shows that "Brushing Teeth May Keep Away Heart Disease."
Aaaaaand Gucci by Gucci: