Listen up, you dumb birds!

In all of this time you have lived in our city, when has a human stolen your eggs or roasted your babies? You are not chickens; you are crows. Get that distinction into your heads. You are nothing but a nuisance to us. Rats with wings. And I swear, if you dive-bomb me again in Freeway Park, if you try that shit again, I will bash your beaks with my bare fists. I will not be humiliated, harassed by this dumb diving and squawking business of yours. I will fight back. And I will fight hard. I will. I will. I will destroy you and your filthy feathers.