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A representative paragraph:

Pope Formosus (891—896)

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This guy was such a jerk that a year after he died, his successor dug him up and put his corpse on trial for the "crime" of being a shitty pope. For real. Google it. Formosus foolishly insisted on representing himself at his trial. Rookie mistake. His putrid and desiccated skin sack, being neither alive nor a lawyer, was unable to convince the assembly of his nonshittiness. They cut off his fingers, tossed his already dead body into the Tiber River, pulled him out, and buried him again. Later, just for laughs—there was a lot of downtime in the ninth century—they exhumed him again, tried him again, and chopped his head off. His tombstone reads "At Least He Never Touched a Little Boy's Butthole."

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