Oil Update: It's still leaking. But now BP is using a giant pair of scissors to cut the pipe and stop the leak.

Is the Oil Making Clean-Up Workers Sick?: One woman thinks so, and she has gone public with that fact even if it could cost her husband his contract with BP.

And Why Isn't Obama Pissed?: A lot of famous people want to know.

But BP Is Really, Really Sorry: BP CEO Tony Hayward has started to apologize for the spill, and for his bullshit "I want my life back" comment. (Good job, Hayward, it only took you how many weeks?)

Well, That's Suspicious: The kid suspected in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, and who was set free (twice), is now the main suspect in the murder of a 21-year-old woman, which occurred exactly five years after Holloway went missing.

Another Gaza Strip Showdown: The Rachel Corrie could arrive as early as Friday.

Was That Supposed to Be a Joke?: "British Airways has apologized for a picture in a company magazine that showed a boarding pass in the name of Osama bin Laden."

Hey Space Nerds: This week you can see Saturn, Venus, and Mars together.

Remember Swine Flu?: It's still a pandemic.

It'd Be Even Better If You Just Let Them Get Married, You Know, for Real: The city clerk's office in New York decided to "add a little fanfare to the unions" and conduct marriage-like ceremonies for gay couples.

Now That He's Done With Celebrity Apprentice: The Rod Blagojevich trial starts today.

I Never Knew Who Jim Joyce Was Until Last Night: The baseball umpire made a shitty call and cost Detroit pitcher Armando Galarraga a perfect game. Now that bad call might change baseball.

Speaking of Baseball: Ken Griffey Jr. retired. (So not only did Joyce's shitty call ruin Galarraga's perfect game, but it also overshadowed Griffey's retirement anouncement... what a dick.)

Speaking of Sports: The Flyers won last night! At least they got on the board. (And speaking of shitty calls, can someone please explain to me how the first goal the Flyers scored in overtime managed to NOT COUNT? The fuck? It crossed the line, eventually.)