A gas station employee working on East Madison Street was robbed at gun point a little after midnight on May 31, according to the filed police report. The employee, who was "visibly shaking" when police arrived, told officers that the suspect came into the store with his hoody pulled up over his head (proving moms everywhere right when they say that hoodies are for hoodlums). The police report states that the suspect asked to use the bathroom. The employee pointed him towards it. As the suspect passed the counter, he suddenly lunged, allegedly pushing the man into a back corner and saying "I've got a gun" while pressing a hard object into the victim's side.

The suspect then allegedly pushed the victim over to the cash register, instructing him to give up "all the bills" but "not the ones." Fearing he was about to be shot, the report states that the man complied and handed the suspect all of the twenty, ten, and five dollar bills in the register. The suspect then reportedly ran from the store with the cash towards Arboretum Park.

According to the report, video footage showed the suspect to be "a white male, in his late 20's, clean shaven, with short brown hair, wearing a plain hoody over a gray or blue shirt, blue jeans, and low-top sneakers." He also had on black framed sunglasses with black lenses. The employee noted that the suspect did not speak with an accent (is that a surprise?). Unfortunately, that just described every male hipster on Capitol Hill.