It's over between me and Bill Hader—so long, Stefon—as I have a new celebrity crush... if a guy in a couple of commercials can be considered a celebrity.

Those pleading eyes! And he's sweaty, slack-jawed, and a little dense—just how I like 'em. And he can't dance, which is so endearing. Too bad about the smug, condescending, superior girlfriend, though. When he's ready for a smug, condescending, superior boyfriend, I'll be waiting.