Saltz & Serrano
  • Saltz & Serrano
The challenge on last night's "Work of Art" on Bravo was to make a shocking work of art—TV producers even brought in as a guest judge Andres Serrano, the maker of Piss Christ.

Of course, none of the art was shocking. Not that we'd have seen it if it had been! A cartoon of a man giving himself a blowjob had to be blurred out, and words were bleeped to protect the innocent. Bravo: Home of Shock Art! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

The art that won was just a solid artwork, not particularly shocking—it resonated immediately and uncomfortably: three black heads on the floor, wearing contorted faces and with fuses sprouting from the tops of their heads. Black male heads about to explode. Abdi related them to IEDs.

Our man from Cornish, Mark Velazquez (Jacob Lawrence once told him he had a lot to live up to), is still in the game. Last week he was top two, this week he was solidly in the middle. ("Chubby Mexican guys 1, Chubby Mexican girls 0," he wrote me this morning.)

I am pretty sure this did not happen in the show but instead was manufactured for this picture. Abdi, you should not have let them make this picture. It is unfortunate for about 80 reasons.
  • I am pretty sure this did not happen in the show but instead was manufactured for this picture. Abdi, you should not have let them make this picture. It is unfortunate for about 80 reasons.
Meanwhile, who'da thunk Nao was going home? As the brazen, brown performance-art womannn, isn't she the definition of Good TV? Also, her piece involved her stroking an apparently feces-covered brown asshole thingy made of a plastic bag. That's weird enough not to be kicked off during the Shock Art challenge, I'd say. So what if she didn't know what her work was about exactly? She's got to have an artwork and a prepared paragraph?

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On the flip side, Andres Serrano clearly loved her and disagreed with the judges, which was kind of annoying. Nothing on the show yet has inspired anything as strong as my love or my hate, except Miles's baby-dictatorishness and the judges' love of him.

Onward!