Watchu Talkin Bout?: Washington State Troopers have issued more than 630 tickets for using a cell phone while driving, all in the past three weeks since it became a primary offense, for an average of 27 tickets per day. Seriously, what are you guys talking about?!

Don't Tell the Tea Party: The U.S. dollar is no longer stable enough to be used as the main global reserve currency, said a U.N. report earlier this week, recommending "the emission of international liquidity," fancy-talk for an international currency similar to that already used by the International Monetary Fund. The move is extremely controversial, not least for heralding the End Times predicted in Revelations. The beast is come!!1!!!!!

America Can Win?: The World Cup isn't the only championship in gay international sport going down this weekend: Wimbledon happened too! Serena Williams won the competition's women's single's title for the fourth time, for her 13th Grand Slam title.

I Guess They Can Quit You: The Seahawks abandoned their three-year fling with local business this week, dumping Jones soda for former beau Coke. They follow in the footsteps of Alaska Airlines, which made the same move in March.

Captain Obvious: Bush rated the worst of modern presidents, not by the biased left-wing media, but by even more biased left-wing academics. 238 of them (our "leading presidential scholars," a club I would like to know how to join) said so, putting him as fifth worst in history as well. Strangely, they also rated the current president, whose first 16 months have already earned him the number 15 spot.

EPA Makes it Rain: The Environmental Protection Agency is sending $30 million to the area, to clean up Puget Sound and "support local projects." Details coming next week on just how the money will be spent.

Lady Problems: Remember last weekend's Kyrgyz constitutional referendum? 90% of the votes were in favor of the new constitution, but many problems exposed/caused by the ethnic violence earlier in the year remain unsolved. So, like Iceland before them, Kyrgyzstan turned to a serious lady for their serious problems: Rosa Otunbayeva became the region's first female president in the region's first parliamentary democracy.

The Lemmings Are Coming!: The first three GOP Senators have announced their opposition to Elena Kagan's confirmation to the Supreme Court, despite her low-drama, high-humor performance this week, no matter how many times real U.S. Senators asked her mildly offensive questions about Thurgood Marshall and Twilight. Only time will tell how many votes Kagan does get, but in the meantime, Slate has a poll.

Local Legend: Seattle's preeminent former strip club owner, alleged purveyor of prostitution, and convicted racketeer Frank Colacurcio, Sr. died yesterday of natural causes at 93. Local, state, and federal police pursued him throughout his life for various illegal dealings, including alleged ties to the mafia, and more recently for the 2003 Strippergate scandal.

There Were No Gays Before Stonewall: The FBI released its 947-page file on the 1950's gay liberation group The Mattachine Society this week, in convenient PDF format! What better way to celebrate Independence Day weekend than by reading through evidence of J Edgar Hoover's gay obsession the history of the movement's true founding fathers (sorry, "sexual deviates")?