Sorry, Charles, but the Gulf could completely fill with oil and rightwing Christian fundamentalists still won't be able to get their minds off men sucking cock (among other sexual sins), not even for a minute:
Those who viewed the environmental damage [in the Gulf]—Christians and non-believers alike—called the damage “apocalyptic.” Our culture is awash in a flood of impurity of another kind, and that is the loosening of the rules intended to conserve and perpetuate life.
The shining whiteness of the bridal gown, symbolizing purity and the power that purity conveys, has been stained—or smudged, if you will—by pornography, sex before marriage, marital infidelity, divorce, abortion and, now, so-called marriages between people of the same sex.
Like the dirty oil that pours uncontrollably into the waters of the Gulf, this withering tide of immorality at times seems impossible to control. No one has been successful in stopping the onslaught, since many parts of our society share a mistaken view of human freedom. When used properly, freedom is good and life-enhancing, but when misapplied, freedom works against life.
This piece is a good example of something most straight people don't seem to realize: the Christian haters have an anti-straight agenda too. They don't just want to stop gay people from getting "so-called" married (or from "so-called" civil unionizing or from "so-called" joining the Army or from "so-called" holding a job). They also want to put a stop to abortion (and they now define contraception as abortion), hetero divorce, hetero pre-marital sex, and hetero "gentleman's clubs," porn, etc., and all other "violations of natural law" that threaten "our continued existence as a nation."
And once they ban and/or stop all that, then America's brides—at least the "so-called" straight ones—can go back to wearing "shining white" gowns at their weddings.