I'm a 44-year-old straight woman with two kids—both pre-teens—who divorced nearly five years ago. Last year, a colleague asked me to help a friend of hers find a job. Long-story-short... we fell in love. We're sexually extremely compatible (both into spanking and low-key BDSM) and our sexual attraction is almost overwhelming. We enjoy each other's company and never really fight.
The problem? I'm 44 and he's 26.
We've broken up three times over the course of the last 14 months. It's never been because we're unhappy with each other. It's always been because my life—as a single parent of two kids—is more than he's ready and able to handle. He likes my kids and they like him. Clearly we love each other. That's why we keep going back to each other. On the other hand, I know that he needs to make his own way in the world and moving into my "ready made" family may just not be good for him (or anyone).
There are other stressors on the relationship as well—we're in the same profession and I am, obviously, much more established than he is. This can be a challenge for some folks, although it never has been for us. Could it become one? I suppose so. Then there are the family complications. His mom knows about us. My parents (we're generally very close) simply pretend that none of this is happening.
So, is an 18 year-age-difference insurmountable? What do you think?
Never Been A Cougar Before
My response after the jump...
Insurmountable? You've been mounting the shit out of this boy—on and off—for the last 14 months, so... like... yeah, an 18-year-age-difference can definitely be surmounted. And how.
Here's what you need to do, NBACB: relax and enjoy this thing for however long as it lasts—that's the best any couple can do, age-difference or no age-difference. And this relationship doesn't have to last until one of you drops dead for it to be regarded as a success. If you're together for a few years and then you part ways as friends, the relationship was a success and worth the time you invested in it. The end.
Love isn't something you run from because there's an age difference. Which is not to say that it isn't a real complication. It is. You're allowed to contemplate where it is you want to be in ten or twenty years and each of you gets to make up your own mind about whether you can both get there together. But that's something to ponder while you're spanking the boy, okay?