Afghanistan's Pentagon Papers? A ton of military papers have been leaked to the public that suggest that Afghanistan is not going very well at all. For instance: America suggests that Pakistan is aiding the insurgency in Afghanistan, even as we send one billion dollars in aid a year their way. There are already 91,000 of these secret documents online now, and Wikileaks founder Julian Assange claims that there are plenty more where that came from. He claims that what there is online already implicate people and nations in war crimes.

Don't Let the Door Hit You in the Etc, Etc: BP CEO Tony Hayward is finally expected to resign.

Down With Love: After a stampede at Germany's Love Parade that left 19 dead and hundreds injured, organizers say there will never be another Love Parade.

War Crimes: A chief executioner of the Khmer Rouge has been found guilty in a UN-backed court, but many say the sentence is too light.

Fighting Breaks Out in Mogadishu: At least 19 dead in a skirmish between the Somali government and Al-Shabaab fighters.

Surely They Will Work This Time: The EU is tightening sanctions over Iran's nuclear program.

This Will Solve Everything: President Obama to appear on The View.

New Home Sales: Up, higher than forecasted, in June.

The Bush Era Lives On: The Supreme Court under Roberts is the most conservative it has ever been in living memory.

One More Round in the Hoosegow: A teen convicted in the Tuba Man murder has been arrested for armed robbery.

Apparently, This Is News: The Barefoot Bandit is not interested in a movie deal, his lawyer says.

Also, He's Kind of Creepy: Has Steve Ballmer's time heading Microsoft finally come to an end?

Sorry, We're Closed: Saying goodbye to Boeing Plant 2.

We're Number 1! We're Number 1!: Famous Zig Zag bartender Murray Stenson has been named Best Bartender in America.

We Partied So Goddamned Hard: Apparently, a block party spontaneously broke out on Capitol Hill this weekend. You can read a very thorough accounting of what went down over on Line Out.

And Now, Your Daily Muppet: