In this week's "Savage Love" I compare cupcakes to cock...

The now-ubiquitous cupcake isn't explicitly sexual, I realize, but our culture does encourage people—women in particular—to sublimate their erotic desires by stuffing their faces with food. And most of those squat, round, and pink-frosted things look, to my jaded eyes, like so many squat little cocks, DEB, so many growers-not-showers with pink sprinkles, and most cupcocks are inhaled by women.

An outraged reader says...

So you see cupcakes as mini cocks, huh? I wonder how much that has to do with your love for both cock and cupcakes? Anyway, check these out for a different perspective on cupcakes and genitals.—Nina

Well, yes, Nina, decorate a dozen cupcakes with labia that appear to have been sliced off crowd of female Dr. Seuss characters and they'll look a little less like cock. And if you photograph those cupcakes from above—obscuring their squat-but-phalic bases and their distinctly penile mushroom heads—then the tops of those cupcakes will resemble so many montes pubis. But scrape those labia off and photograph those cupcakes from the side and what do you got?