I'm a 23-year-old heterosexual male who resides in the Bay Area. About a month ago I was circumcised to treat my phimosis. As I wait for everything to heal, I realized that it would be the perfect opportunity for a fresh start in my sexual life. I've always been very kinky in my interests. Along with having a fetish for female feet, I'm also into domination, bondage, role-playing and gender role reversals (like the Lady Gaga video "Alejandro"). I have a desire to try these fantasies out.

My question is where can a newbie like me get started? I know that participants in lifestyles can sometimes be a little impatient with beginners. Is there a club or website that can set me in the right path? Thanks and keep up the great work!

Newbie Kinkster

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...


I don't get to refer people to coffee shops all that often—I've actually never referred someone to a coffee shop before—but seeing as you're in the Bay Area, NK, and seeing as you're looking to connect with the local kink community, I think you should drop into Wicked Grounds, San Francisco's "first and only kink cafe." It's a nice, chill place, with great coffee and tea, and I recommend the brown-butter poundcake. You'll find flyers and info about local groups, munches, parties, and workshops, and if you hang out there long enough to establish yourself as something of a regular, the folks who work there and other regulars are full of advice about getting involved in SF's large and intimidating-on-the-outside/soft-and-chewy-on-the-inside kink scene. Good luck!