I've been with my girlfriend for two years and for a while the sex was incredibly hot. Now the frequency has dropped off and the sex has become completely vanilla (her preference not mine). I have a few fantasies that I have yet to realize that I have discussed with her only to be rejected again and again.

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I would love to try watersports, anal play (for both of us) and snowballing. About as close as I get to this is fingering her ass lightly sometimes.

My question is, how can I get her to be a bit more GGG? I would love fulfilling her needs if she expressed any and I guess I already do by having vanilla sex. My fantasies don't need to be regular occurences, just every once in a while. If it proves to be impossible, am I justified in finding someone else to fulfill my needs?

ISO GGG GF

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...

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You're fully justified in finding someone else to fulfill your fantasies—right after you dump the someone you're with now.

You're not married, there are no kids, you've only got two years invested in this woman, IGG, so there won't be any get-out-adultery-free cards for you. In your case leaving doesn't amount to a bigger sin/headache/betrayal than cheating. And leaving your current GF will not only allow you to go and find a GGG GF—or live in hope of finding one—it'll also teach your current-and-soon-to-be-ex-GF a very important lesson: misrepresenting yourself at the start of a relationship, i.e. leading someone to believe you're more sexually adventurous then you actually are and then calling off the freaky shit once the person has made a commitment to you, can get a girl (or a guy) dumped.

That kind of bait-and-switch shit is dishonest, it's manipulative, it makes people miserable, and under certain circumstances—in cases where cheating is the lesser sin—it amounts to an unlimited supply of get-out-of-adultery-free cards.