Stan Rumbaugh in his lucky tie. (Results may vary.)
  • Stan Rumbaugh in his lucky tie. (Results may vary.)

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Stan Rumbaugh is adorable. He's a good guy. SECB has only been impressed further by the goodness of Stan Rumbaugh.

Candidate Rumbaugh arrived to his party at 7:55, because his wife is working for a candidate who is running against a lesbian, which is the only thing we can say we don't like about Stan Rumbaugh.

About his own race: Before the 8:15 info drop, he said he was nervous and was wearing his lucky tie, which is dapper, red, and was given to him last Friday the 13th, on his birthday, by his wife. (He was also born on Friday the 13th, and, amazingly, owns an interest in a Manhattan company that runs the best haunted house in the United States, and whose theme this Halloween will be Superstitions; this same company, Art Meets Commerce, is the company producing Fela on Broadway right now. Which means Stan Rumbaugh has collaborated with Jay-Z and Beyonce.)

In advance of the results, Rumbaugh said, "Hundreds of people have helped this campaign, and it is humbling, even though I know that's a cliche. But they helped because they believe in something better, and I really, really want to come through for them. If I don't win, I'll be as sorry for them as I am for myself. Honest to God."

This is the first time SECB has ever believed the words of an attorney. He meant it.

When the first returns came in at 8:15 pm, it was a nailbiter. Opponent Jim Johnson was up 65 to 34 percent, and Rumbaugh said, "Well, that's not very encouraging."

Meanwhile, his party at the Harmon Hub in Tacoma (Rumbaugh lives in Browns Point, just outside Tacoma) is the cutest election party in history. For the first hour, SECB was seated next to the attorney for Smoke Farm, who moved to the Northwest in order to follow beat poet Gary Snyder, landing here after hitchhiking 30,000 miles. SECB's other tablemate wears a diamond in his left ear and cooked for bands for ten years, including Bon Jovi, Foreigner, and Bob Seger.

Imagine what the world would be like if Stan Rumbaugh were in charge of justice.

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