Following yesterday's ear-yanking wanker comes today's absentminded ear mauler, courtesy of Hot Tipper Sarah:

Today at the paint store where I work, a disgruntled customer came up to the register and told me he didn't want to use water-based finish anymore because it was expensive. As I explained that since he was already using water-based, oil-based wouldn't adhere, he took his car key, the big kind with the unlock buttons on it, and began to dig in his ear with it, pulling it out every so often to look at it. I told him "that's kinda dangerous" and he stopped, looked at me vacantly and said "oh..." as if he had never heard that before. He wiped the key off on his jacket and we went back to talking about wood refinishing products. He left with a quart of water-based finish.