These two letters arrived minutes apart today:

First let me say that I read your column every week and love, love, LOVE it. Secondly... I am in need of some advice. I am a 25-year-old straight female in a fairly small town with a great job that has caused my social life to suffer. I have been single for 2 years and haven't even had any sort of fling in a few months and I'm starting to get restless. Because I can't seem to find a guy who makes me want to return his calls, I have been traveling down the road of Internet porn (yes, there ARE some girls who like porn!) and have discovered that what I really would like to try is a threesome (with another woman and a man). I have no idea how to go about doing this however. Where do I find a nice, attractive, decent and clean couple? I am too embarrassed to tell this to any of my friends so I don't really know where to start. How can I do this safely—both in terms of my body, my health and my place in a strange couple's relationship? I am not currently interested in finding a couple to start a relationship with, but I would love to find one that will take me home for the night and have some (safe) fun, no crazy strings attached. Is this possible?

My wife is a virgin-bi. She likes women, but has never experienced being with one—not even during her college years. I want to help her experience this. Although the idea of a threesome with my wife and another woman would be a fantasy of mine too, this is really about her. There is noone in our circle of friends that we could proposition so we have to look elsewhere. We are not "bar" people, so going out and trying to find the one in a million girl to join us is not really an option. Also, my wife is rather picky in the girls she finds attractive and this makes that search more difficult.

I would hook 'em up if I could but I can't.