The Yard of the Inhabitants


Yesler Terrace?
I have a hard time watering something that isn't my lawn gets brown by August. Deal with it, neighbors. *shrug* I have dreams of tearing the whole thing out, and letting vegetables take over my yard. Someday....
Wait, we're against nice looking LAWNS now? For being trimmed and presentable? Even naturally grown lawns without chemicals or water wasted on watering (which isn't exactly hard to do with a little foresight and planning)?

I guess I'll be an asshole then, because a cute little healthy lawn with a nice rose bush was going to be a point of pride for me when we become home owners.
We don't need no stinking middle class. Let the Chinese have it.
Jealous much?
I think Charles is becoming an African Marxist version of Andy Rooney.
@3 he's against lawns you jackass.
No idea what Charles is talking about. . .as usual. . .my fault not his I'm sure but. . .
I am jealous of their corn. I had planted about 20, in my front yard since the sun is best, the damn squirrels got every stalk. My mater's, strawberries and pumpkins, in the front yard as well, did just fine - guess the squirrels don't like that stuff.
I sure do want to know how they kept their corn safe from the critters?
I thought lawns were stupid, then I had a kid. Now I wanna make a nice soft one out front for him to play on. Is that so bourgeoisie?
Little kids really like playing on lawns, the bastards.
does charles just hate happiness? yawn.
I really wish I owned my house so I could tear up the lawn :(
Okay, Mudede, I get that marriage contracts, thoughtless tourism and suburban lawns can be seen as having something inherently wrong with them in and of themselves. I can work with that even without knowing where you are coming from. Although, it would help us see what you are getting at if you further explained why you make these assertions.

I really don't understand the basis of your hatred for retirement plans and savings plans. Is it due to some post-Marxist dystopian framework that you have not explained? Is it due to some seriously outdated form of straight-up Marxism that you still adhere to? Is it because our society has turned into a system that ensures you end up making bad consumer choices, don't save, or lose your savings to the likes of predatory a investment scheme, and then screws you with no recourse to a collective safety net to stop the slide into complete oblivion?

It would be so much more interesting if we know why you hate something.
Poor Charles...wishing he was middle-class. Dont worry...maybe you kids can have the American dream and be middle class? Then you could hate them and make them part of your work again.
Lawns are ridiculous. If you don't have kids who play games on your grass regularly, grow something useful instead. Turf is for sports fields and pristine mountain meadows; gardens are for yards.

What's a lawn?
It's pretty easy for someone who was raised within the luxurious bubble of a nation's upper class elite to despise the middle class and their desires to have a little lawn space for their children to play on, to see other parts of the country and world and maybe learn something new, and finally to retire with some savings that will hopefully not run out before they die, leaving them destitute.

It's also easy for a grown-up rich kid to romanticize the poor. Since Charles hasn't experienced the true life of the working poor--only play acted in his youth with the confort that his parents could save him at any time--maybe he should ask a few of them if retirement, tourism, and some green space of their own are such disgusting things to dream of.

I love hating Charles as much as anyone, but I'm getting sick of priviledged Mr. Marxy Marx bashing the middle class and never speaking ill of the rich. What is it Charles, insulting the rich and ruling class hits too close to home?
Personally, I've dug up as much yard as I could to make space for veggies, potatoes, wildflowers and a rain garden mostly because I hate mowing. However, I do really like walking barefoot on the remaining lawn. You just can't walk, run, play, roll, fuck, etc etc in the middle of your veggie garden. Clearly walking, running, playing, rolling and fucking are a nefarious plot by capitalist dogs! Unfortunately, as usual, Charles has let his "fuck everyone who owns anything! Everything should be communal property! Hooray for fucking up people's property!" rant go way too far.

On some level I agree, people take it too far dumping chemicals and wasting water on lawns but they do that to their veggie gardens too so replacing one with the other doesn't necessarily help anything.

So, in short, my standard Charles response applies. Get off your high horse and go fuck yourself Charles you pompous commie prick!
Check out Jules Dervaes and what his family is doing in Pasadena, CA.
@ 15 - Hooray!
its not a lawn - iits a lawn bowling court!
@17. OMG, you just nailed Charles. Nice work! At times his writing is pukka, but I never could fathom the the crusty old marxist twaddle from an otherwise articulate person. I just figured it was a long running joke.
Why should young suburban children waste their time playing on lawns and climbing trees when they could be tilling the soil and picking vegitables with the rest of the proles?
@17 Charles is wealthy? He's fake proletariat?
Also what is your problem is with the legal protections of marriage (that so many are desperately trying to get for themselves) traveling and learning about foreign cultures and saving for retirement so you don't spend your sunset years eating dog food? Are you saying tourism is a bad thing because some tourists are shallow pricks? Marriage is bad because some people see it as possessing their wife? Saving for retirement is bad because...I don't know, maybe because it's bad for people to be responsible and plan for their future.

If those are the reasons (and you've given me no reason to think otherwise) I've got news for you Charles, Marxism is bad because some people use it as a reason to be lazy shits who just leech off of society. Marxism is bad because some people use it as a tool to dominate society and control the nation as a dictator determining who gets what at their own whims. See, it goes both ways. As with most things there are good and bad things and good and bad people.

So, as I said before, unless you can back up your feeble arguments better, go fuck yourself. Idiot.
@24 I can't tell if you're being facetious or not, so I'll play it safe and assume not. While Charles is no baby Bill Gates, he does come from a privildged background. His father was the economic advisor for Robert Mugabe and his mother was a university professor. They sent him abroad to receive a superior education than 99% of their countrymen would ever receive. You can read all about his pain growing up with a swimming pool in last week's issue.

By the way, Charles, how many veggies could one grow in the area occupied by a swimming pool?
Whatever. I like well-tended grass. What I can't deal with is people who completely let their lawns go. Within a few years, the lawn inevitably turns into a weedy, muddy mess. Rip it out and replace it with wood chips if you're that lazy.
Sorry, Charles-- but just so I understand: your problem is with the middle-class? Or is it suburbia where lawns exists? The middle-class vs. the upperclass and their estatesm, golf courses, and McMansions are much worse offenders...
Dear Root, easy asshole. What's with your Charles hostility? Ad hominems, knee jerks, tough talk? What has he done to you personally? You shouldn't let it get to you, man.

The dude was just talking about the ridiculousness of lawns (I know, touchy subject).
mudede is like a lightning rod for assholes. don't ever change, charles.
Tending a garden is work, people. Lawns are not -- or not much. It would be great if people had the time and the inclination for gardens like this, but the truth is most don't. Not even all socialists have green thumbs.
Charles, what appeals to you about Marxism? The fact that it was responsible for the murder of over 100 million people in the 20th century?
Once our kids got to be tall enough that they could run from one end of our small lawn to the other in fewer than ten big strides, my remaining interest in maintaining it dwindled. The kids went to play in bigger parks and playing fields. But the grass (or the green patch of weeds) still serves a purpose. When the grass starts to turn brown, that means I haven't been watering it enough to keep our non-native hardwood trees alive. By the time the trees themselves start to brown it might be too late to save them. The trees I really like, as they keep our house a lot cooler in the summer. I think of our lawn as like one of those ph indicator strips we used in high school chemistry. When the strip is green, moisture levels are high enough for the trees.

And, yes, three cheers for urban vegetable patches. They're the best.
"Really, is there anything in that culture—the marriage contracts, the savings, the retirement plans, the tourism, the lawns—that can be salvaged?"

Why you still hatin' on the middle class, Chuck? Is there something wrong with people gettin' hitched? Or saving money for a comfortable retirement? Or going abroad to experience other cultures? Or having (GOD FORBID!) a spot of green grass for the kids to play on?

Once again, your sophomoric crusade against people trying to improve the material conditions of their lives falls flat. And once again, I'm gonna' say it- go fuck yourself, Chuck.
Charles I thought as you do about lawns when I was young and my father made me mow. What a waste of time and energy and resources. Now the older I get, the more pressing it is to have a small bit of nature I can control, however futile. The lawn has the same purpose a Japanese rock garden has.
get off my lawn
The fact that it was responsible for the murder of over 100 million people in the 20th century?

I'm as anti-communist as they come, but these claims are silly. Those deaths were caused by assholes, pure and simple. Nothing in Marxism (a philosophy I can't abide) calls for the murder or negligent homicide of citizens.
It is funny to read somebody who lives in the luxury of bourgeoise privilege curse the world of bourgeoise privilege. Then again, consider the lifestyle of Engels' old sidekick. It must be rough to spend the day toiling away at madlibs of Marxist quotes juxtaposed with breasts and then have to walk past a house with grass in front of it.
I enjoy watching birds forage in the lawn.
Or maybe reading a "fishwrap" while sitting on it.
Please don't hate on me just because I'm lucky enough to own one.(As long as I make the payments)
Peace out Yo!
A lawn is only middle class if you have to mow it yourself. I’d NEVER have one of that variety. My ¾ acre is very much upper class.
Yeah, retirement plans are bad because a "future time orientation" is a form of institutional racism.
Charles, you're such a dingbat. How did you manage to extrapolate all those things from a dry garden whose owner you don't know?
So Mudede's still a classist?
I think you mean classic.