Most people—we're talking real numbers here—who "want to use anus for sex" are straight.

A higher percentage of gay men engage in anal intercourse, of course, but when it comes to actual numbers—hard numbers—straight people appropriate the anus for unintended uses in much greater numbers than gay people do. And lesbians, as I've pointed out, don't have anuses. So lesbians are clearly God's chosen (if constipated) people.

Anal sex is a lot like sit-ups, brunch, and nipple rings—it's not just for gay men anymore.