SL Letter of the Day: You're Tired Of Porn Fights?

Comments

1
DTMFA
2
Seriously, the "measuring his ejaculate" thing is beyond scary. DTMFA. NOW.
3
This isn't fake?
4
She even goes so far as to inspect the volume of my ejaculate after sex to guess if I've jerked off since she last saw me.

At low volume, all she hears is mumbles and whispers. But at high volume, the snitchy sperm are all "HE'S JERKING OFF TO PORN AGAIN!!!!"
5
this guy is a pussy.
6
@ 4 Seriously! Either way there's no winning!
7
Egads.

This sort of thing makes me feel really bad for straight people.

Is there any way they can work her controlling and abusive behavior into a consensual bdsm dynamic? Could they transform this fucked up situation into something where they are up front about what is going on?

Yikes!
8
Why would you even consider staying with someone like this?
9
Wait... They're not even married?! Not that it should matter, but that's a frightening level of, in this case, unlicensed possessiveness.

Wake up and smell the coffee! Something is seriously not right there, and it needs addressing. Now. They're only dating, right? Well, maybe they should take a break. Either she'll decide she wants him back as he is, or she won't. Either way, he needs that madness out of his life. Breaking her stranglehold for a couple weeks might be just the ticket. If that possessiveness is a misplaced expression of love, rather than insecurity, now would be the time to find out.
10
#7 what the fuck does this have to do with being straight? God, you're a moron.
11
I went through something like this years ago. Even the softest of porn threw my ex into a tizzy. DTMFA. It won't get better. Believe me.
12
She checks ejaculate volume? Creepy! Just to make things interesting, mention that she feels a little cavernous lately and accuse her of some extracurricular activities.
13
@ 7: Is there any way they can work her controlling and abusive behavior into a consensual bdsm dynamic?

Well, plainly he doesn't enjoy it. Maybe if he got a pass to "punish" her when she started being crazy...
14
Yes, TOPF needs a spine, but his girlfriend needs therapy. If she is this batshit now, imagine how controlling she'd be after they are living together or -- heaven forfend -- married.
15
@7: Don't feel sorry for straight people, what is going there is just plain weird and not normal.

Measuring ejaculate? WTF?

16
Great advice. Exactly what I was thinking, in the order I was thinking it.

@7: This is not "straight people". This is CRAZY people!
17
I was with the "he needs to put his foot down and tell her that she needs to stop or he'll break up with her" until I got to the "She even goes so far as to inspect the volume of [his] ejaculate after sex to guess if I've jerked off since she last saw [him]," at which point I switched to, "Holy fuck, run AWAAAAAAAAAY!"
18
@ 4, Ha! Awesome!
19
I would think most women are more understanding, more into sex, whatever, before marriage. If this is bad now, and you're considering something long-term, like marriage, just imagine what she'll be like then, when she believes she has a legitimate right to control you. Feminist porn haters aside, most women who fear porn are insecure, and if she's insecure now (relatively young, no kids), picture her insecurity 10 years on, post-children tummy and stretch marks. And someone who wants to control this part of your life will probably want to control other parts, too, like your friends, your "guy time," your job selection. I've seen this in friends of ours: People aren't usually controlling in just one area, it's usually more comprehensive...you just haven't reached that point yet.
20
And no, he's not a "pussy". He's in love with an insecure manipulator. Even relatively strong people can become victims of their love for people like this. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, that kind of shit messes with your head.
21
I will readily admit that I am pretty insecure. That being said, this woman has serious insecurity problems. Do these type of girls ever think? In most main stream porn, most of the women's features (tons of make-up, fake boobs, ect) are exaggerated, and you know why? Because, like the boyfriend said, men are visual creatures. It's almost like play acting...they emphasize features so the audience can get more into the experience. Blaming media is officially a cop out. I realize emotions are not necessarily rational, but I wish women would just think before they judge.

Also, the fact that she also watches porn makes her a gigantic, controlling, bitch of a hypocrite. Saying "she feels guilty" is her own problem, not his. Maybe she feels guilty because SHE desires what she watches? He doesn't, because like I said before, it is strictly visuals. DTMFA!!!
22
Let's face it women can be very insecure about porn. Women are always jealous if their partner even looks at another women. I discovered this feeling with my last Bf and I'm not a jealous person by nature and thought WTF when I realized what I was feeling. Women are afraid that they will lose to competition and that wakes the green monster. Even if he is looking at fictional glossy, plastic image of a woman, she feels threatened as if it was a real woman.

I had absolutely no problem with the BF looking at porn because I understood the difference. Guys are visual and they're easy. They get off on just a friggin' body part for God sakes. So what? But given a choice between a plastic one in a photo and the real woman laying naked on his bed, guess which one he'll take? That's right.

There's something seriously wrong when this woman compulsively looks at his computer and measures his sperm??!!! Yeah he needs to read her the riot act and she better wake up of this will be the last boyfriend she ever has.
23
What's fucked up about the "measuring" thing is that it implies she's not even okay with him masturbating AT ALL. Because if he did, regardless of whether there was porn involved, his volume would be lower...

DTMFA.
24
It IS possible that some women who dislike porn can grow to like it, or at least be neutral to it. Try presenting it as something you can watch together?

Or just try to help her understand. Maybe her guilt would be assuaged by watching porn made for women, by women. I bet that the more comfortable she is with watching it, the more comfortable she'd be with you watching it. Compare it to reading erotic literature or getting excited over a sexy movie scene.

This seems rather basic, but maybe that's what she needs. I promise, though, that some women who are insecure about it now can outgrow that.
25
man this bitch must be really hot. does she make you wear a rubber mask and tie you up when she measures your ejaculate? does she want to? they make penis locks if you guys are both into that. hahahahahaha hahaha
hahahah
ahahaha what a Bitch
26
I do agree the "checkin the volume" is insane, but... depending on where he finishes, the process could be kinda hot, just sayin'. Especially if she uses a test tube & puts on goggles and a white labcoat.
27
@22 I like it when I catch my boyfriend discreetly looking at another woman. Then I feel like we can check her out together. It's a turn-on knowing he's appreciating the female form.
28
Men always check the spewy volume -- if it's visible.

But for someone else to do it? Poopnoodle!
29
Seriously how do you measure ejaculate? Measuring spoon? Suck it into a syringe? See if it fills your belly-button? Percent coverage of his belly?

HOW?

Do you test it for specific gravity too?
30
Get a fake gun and the next time she brings it up take out your cock and balls and put the gun to your nuts and threaten to blow your own balls clean off if she brings it up again. That'll fix her.
31
@27 you're the Best. Female Form is right. I liked it when my ex could gage another female's ass by how good it would feel to bury her face in there. There are other forms of appreciation, but you've got the idea. It's all about getting turned on right? Do it together!
32
Maybe if you had been open about it in the first place she wouldn't be so insecure. Believe it or not women want honesty. Her behavior is bizarre and you should listen to Dan, you need to stop this before it gets worse. Have you tried watching porn together? Its' worth a shot.
33
My husband and I don't have "porn fights."

I can't recall any examples of gay couples writing to Dan with this problem.

Of course I meant ALL straight people. Every last one of them!

Heterosexuals are so touchy. Every last one of them!
34
Maybe he comes in her mouth every time and she swallows and can tell when she's not as full as she was the last time.

Y'know, because abusive, controlling women love to swallow.
35
Okay, dude, I've gone on record before saying porn makes me feel insecure, kind of jealous, conflicted feeling, blah blah blah, but compulsively looking at your Internet? (I look for at boyfriends' porn only for a lark when I am feeling EXTREMELY attractive, so I can give him a raised eyebrow and a come-hither," oo-ho, you like THIS do you?") but checking your ejaculation level? I mean you're not even "allowed" to freaking jerk off?

That's... I mean, it's insane. And coming from a pretty deeply insecure girl, that must means it's SUPER crazy.
36
@30 If he stays with her much longer, Vince, I don't think he'll have any balls to threaten her with...she'll be wearing them on a string around her neck.
37
The cumulative effect of all these stories to my self-absorbed little brain is that it is a gdamn tragedy that I'm on the shelf (single, no prospects), because apparently GGG straight women are a rarity.

Seriously, measuring his ejaculate? Please, boil the pet rabbit first!
38
She sounds different from the average porn-hating GF because she admits she watches it, albeit with guilt. Most of them either watch it then lie about it or avoid it like the plague. So there might be some potential there if he could convince her that they're in the same boat, i.e he feels the same way she, a porn consumer does, and is not going to leave her for some unknown chunk of flesh.

Then again the ejaculate measuring is all kinds of crazy, so maybe not.
39
@22, You sound like an idiot. Don't overgeneralize, it'll get you into trouble around here.
40
OMG. WTF. DTMFA. ASAP.
41
This is amazing.
42
@20, sorry if pussy offended you, but that's what this man is being. colloquial usage of the word justifies it in this poor sap's case.
43
I don't get why these women don't get it. I'm sure each one has gone to lunch with friends, and also treated herself to a nice lunch alone. Yeah, there's food in common, but they are distinct and separate pleasant experiences.

The glory of partner sex is tending to the pleasure of your partner, even as s/he tends to yours. The glory of jacking off, with or without porn, is not having to tend to the pleasure of a partner, just your own. Yeah, there's orgasm in common, but they are separate experiences. As with lunches, a guy can enjoy one this day and the other tomorrow, with no contradiction and no compromising his love for his partner.

Men seem to get this instinctively. A lot of women don't, it seems. Can't someone tell them? Dan?
44
Jesus, not another porn fight letter.

Guys, be discreet about your porn consumption if you sense/know your girlfriend is the type who might wig out about porn. Girls, realize that most everyone of both genders looks at porn these days and if he's not being a dick by doing it in front of you, then you need to let it go.

45
#24 is right - try watching porn with her and talk about what you like in it, what she likes in it, reassure each other that you're hot for what you're seeing, not who you're seeing. Demystify the whole thing for her by making it more ordinary and less sneaky. Then finish by having her watch you jerk off (to reinforce the masturbation-is-okay concept). She can return the favor herself (probably will take a LOT of encouragement). Maybe if she sees firsthand that you can be into both her AND porn, she'll lighten up. You can always DTMFA later if she just can't share you with you.

Hint: find porn that works for both of you. Many women like straight porn, gay porn, and girl-on-girl porn, so general chances are (2 of of 3), you'll like what she likes. Get her to pick one, then you pick one. It'll be like a book club for two, but dirtier...
46
"... she compulsively checks my Internet history ..." C'mon people, it's 2010 and you haven't figured out to secure your user account?
47
Bitch be crazy.
48
The fact that they fuck almost every day, she watches porn, and she is so obsessive/possessive about his sexuality tells me she's crazy in a way that makes her spectacular in bed.

I say enjoy the fuck fest as long as you can, and then find a normal woman who's happy to have you jack off to porn if it means you'll stop humping her leg.
49
My GF and I usually have sex once a day, and I always make sure that she is satisfied.

It's great that you do that but I wonder: does she make sure you are satisfied in return? She must. In fact, she must do more than that. She must be really hot in bed or a great person in other ways (smart, funny, etc.), or all of that, in order for you to put up with this controlling shit.

I used to wonder how people could stay with someone who treated them poorly until I fell for a woman like that. I stayed with her for two years because the good (best sex I ever had, among other things) outweighed the bad. But finally the bad (she fucked a friend of mine) outweighed the good and I said good riddance. Having been through that once, I'd sure like to think I won't do it again but being "in love" (and lust) fucks with your rational mind.
50
I am amazed at how many of these "woman freaks out over bf/husband's porn!" letters are posted in this column. I thought my boyfriend was exaggerating when he said he was reticent to share porn with me because of previous relationship traumas surrounding porn. Seriously? Now I get it. And it's making me sad for the state of sexuality in a lot of people's relationships. I'm kind of tired of hearing about it, to be honest. I mean, it's one thing to just not be into something. "Hey, honey, porn doesn't turn me on, so could you just do it when I'm not home?" which is EXACTLY what this guy does. But SHIT, if my boyfriend and I had sex at least once A DAY, why in the WORLD would I freak out over his looking at porn an average of ONCE A WEEK? Personally, I would KILL to get it once a day! WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!

When it comes to this "women hate porn because they're insecure" thing, I get it. I do. My sympathies. But the only way to get beyond insecurities is to GET BEYOND THE INSECURITIES. Nobody else is responsible for helping me get beyond my insecurities. I love it when my partner tells me I'm beautiful, but I have to believe it for it to make a dent in my insecurities. And my insecurities don't go away in the absence of porn. They just shift to some other behavior I claim makes me insecure. Insecurities are an internal issue, not an external one. If porn triggers insecurities, it's because a person doesn't have the internal failsafes in place to sheild them from those kinds of feelings in the face of porn. Again, I understand just not being turned on by porn (I mean, I don't UNDERSTAND it understand it since I enjoy the stuff), and I even understand feeling a LITTLE insecure about one's partner looking at porn. Even if a woman looks at porn and is porn-positive, she might have a MOMENT of feeling a little bruised in the ego at the thought of her partner getting off to images of other women. That sounds fairly natural and emotionally stable. But being so insecure that you go completely insane and trample all over someone else's boundaries in a way that is downright emotionally abusive? Get professional help.
51
I'm a girl who thinks porn is super, and I don’t want to know or control what my BF is thinking about while we’re fucking. **BUT** so long as he insists on a monogamy, his is the only dick I get. The days he jacks off, I don’t get laid; period. He hates it when I say he is “eating off my plate” (he’s right: it isn’t “my” plate), but I don’t need to measure his ejaculate to know when I’m having solo sex because he got bored while I was at work. Monogamy is important to him, so I’ve agreed. Isn’t asking him not to spend his savings on kleenex a fair request?
53
@8 probably because she's pretty and has a job.
54
@29: Easy if you use condoms
55
Just cum in her eyes.
56
49/seandr: ...tells me she's crazy in a way that makes her spectacular in bed.

That's my thought too. The three hottest women I've ever been with were crazy in some way. (Two of them, interestingly, had been abused by men when they were young.) I've never been with a sweet woman who was nasty and red-hot in bed. I'm sure women like that exist, perhaps plenty of them. I just haven't met one yet.
57
dan's job is so easy: DTMFA, DTMFA, DTMFA. everyone needs to DTMFA.
58
#40: Well said!
#48: Yeah, why is it that some of the people who are best at sex are worst at either sanity or respectful behavior?
#49: Well, great sex does indeed count for a lot . . .
59
@55 FTW
60
I think the kicker is that gets off to porn and is racked by guilt about it. Hello? Earth to dude. She's not emotionally responsible enough to be in a sexual relationship. You shouldn't even need to see her take her self loathing of her own sexuality out on you to recognize that there is a problem. She might grow up fast if you follow Dan's advice, but you have to decide if it's worth it. And you DO NOT need couples counselling. SHE NEEDS COUNSELLING! That might involve you if you decide to be the nicest guy ever and stick with her through her healing, but it's not your problem...and frankly her MO seems to be all about making it your problem...so the live expectancy of this relationship is not so hot...
61
nocutename: Well, great sex does indeed count for a lot . . .

Yeah...for a while.

It's too bad a hot sexual connection with another person is (in my opinion, of course) so hard to find. It it wasn't, people would be much less likely to stay in great-fucking-with-fucked-up-person relationships.
62
WTF. Break the fuck up with that nutjob, immediately.
63
Can I nominate a new acronym: GAPA -- grow a pair, already!

And if that doesn't work: DTMFA
64
Maybe she's checking the volume of his ejaculate through gargling. Win-win.
65
@29, if it's in a condom, you can easily see the difference between just-jerked-off-6-hours-ago and holding-it-for-two-weeks. It's a difference between several drops and several ounces and also the color can be different (clearish vs. white). However, if he's serious about doing her once a day rather than exaggerating the bitchiness for sympathy, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. And certainly if she demands to check the condoms every time they fuck (rather than notices them every now and then and makes snide remarks), that is a major problem.

The only thing that will change for the better is if this girl gets real and start respecting herself -- not as a sex object or as his mind-controller, but for her own abilities. I know it's hard with some of the social messages out there but get a fucking grip -- it's 2010 and there are just as many strong fucking female role models out there these days as wimpy-ass pathetic "I saved myself for you" cum-dumpster models. Unfortunately for the writer, people don't change because you want them to so it's unlikely that she'll change any time soon. But who knows, in 10-20 years she could be dating material. The writer also seems too prone to his own insecurities to date someone like this -- she will just suck him down into the self-esteem abyss with her. Each of them needs a strong partner to build their self-esteem and if they can't find one, they need to stay single and build it their damn selves!
66
Wow. I reeeeally need to dump my MFA, so it's really not fair for me to tell TOPF he should DTMFA. It's not an easy thing to do when you love someone. But TOPF, from one pushover wuss to another - this woman is being unreasonably controlling and obsessive. You have tried to work this out, but she is not cooperating. The next step for you is obvious.
67
@37/ maddy- right there with you, babe. Unfortunately.

@28/ lewlew- brilliant incorporation of the word poopnoodle!

@4/ roma- I love you for that.
68
This friend of mine had a crazy-jealous, abusive boyfriend, and one of things he would do, making sure she knew it, was pull her used panties out of the laundry basket and smell them. Supposedly this could "prove" she was fucking other people somewhere in between the dozens of times he checked up on her all day.

Yeah, measuring ejaculate reminded me of that.
69
@33

I noticed something, lurking and observing here, as I tend not to engage people in public with whom I am not already familiar; those who possess a median characteristic (or have the perception that they possess the same), those who understandably should be most secure in their own identity, it being reinforced by society as a whole, take the greatest offense when that identity is challenged, even in the most harmless, joking sort of way. Thus people who self-define as "middle-class" cast Nietzsche and Paglia aside, without consideration of even their most insightful criticisms. Thus those in committed monogamous relationships take strong offense at even the slightest implication as with "Sex at Dawn" that their sexual preferences are not reinforced according to Evolutionary Psychology. Of course, the multitude of offended voices have the capacity to speak loudest in unison, but also I wonder if they react so strenuously and negatively because their identity is hardly challenged and they lack the emotional knowledge to cope therewith.
70
The letter writer should show his letter, Dan's response, and all the comments to his crazy girlfriend immediately.
71
Good freaking grief! I am sooo showing my husband of 17 years this when he gets home. He needs to know how good he has it. He actually bookmarks his favorite porn sites on our shared computer and, (as long as he continutes to fuck me senseless on a regular basis) I DON'T CARE! It doesn't affect me, it's not a reflection on me, and really, unless there's something that he wants to show me, it's NONE OF MY BUSINESS! (As long as he continues to fuck me senseless on a regular basis.) Of course, I have it pretty good too... He got me a new Hitachi Magic Wand for my birthday.
72
As a gay male, I've been reading these porn-war stories now with a smidgen of jealousy thinking, man, if I were a sex-positive woman with a beautiful pussy, a smokin' hot body and allowed men to enjoy their porn, I could rule this fucking world! Men ask so little to be happy.
73
#56: I'm one. And the really ironic part is I at I'm not sharing it with anyone. Maybe if they see sane and nice they think, "nah . . . can't be good in bed."
74
She's upset because she clearly doesn't have you sufficiently pussy-whipped yet.
75
#61: That's my point in the both in the statement you responded to and in the preceding post:

Good sex, I mean really, really good sex with passion and intensity and connection that the feeling that your souls are actually merging . . . whoops! Excuse me, I got (ahem) a bit carried away. But it's really, really rare.

So when you find it, appreciating how infrequently you do come across it, you (I don't mean *you,* you know, but "one." "One" just sounds so pretentious) tend to hold on to it even (for a while) when it's clearly attached to someone crazy, or stupid, or mean, or lazy, or . . .
Eventually, the bad stuff gets to be too much to outweigh the good, and you "come to your senses."
And then months or years of that kind of solitude that comes from not being willing to settle for yet another partner with whom sex is just kind of good comes over you and you find yourself remembering old "Batshit" when you masturbate and wondering why you broke up anyway.
(Insert smiley face made of punctuation marks here so you know I've got a sense of humor)
76
I couldn't resist: http://oglaf.com/cumsprite
77
DTMFA is the only response. He can do better. Move on.
78
I doubt she's really getting all scientific about checking it, its possible to notice whether there's a lot of it or a little, thats probably all "the check" is. And then she hypothesizes on why there's more or less.

This is never gonna end though. Even pretending he doesn't look at porn doesn't work, she knows enough to know that its BS if he's telling her he doesn't, so she goes on these crazy hunts for evidence. She's not happy if she's told about the porn and she's not happy if she isn't, and thats the craziness that needs to be dealt with. I'm surprised she hasn't just gotten tired of it and given up her crusade after 4 years.
79
Sounds like things would be a lot easier for the girlfriend if she had this spell in her grimoire.

http://oglaf.com/cumsprite/1/

Comic is several pages long and incredibly NSFW!
80
nocutename, great sex might mean different things to both of us. I have nothing against the souls-merging thing -- in fact, that's very powerful -- but "great" sex, to me, is more about being with a woman who loves sex, is (mostly) free of inhibitions and is able to get really nasty. Doesn't mean she has to be that way all the time but if she can't get in touch with her inner wildcat (or doesn't have one) at all, then it's not gonna be great for me.

I agree with the rest of what you said @ 75.

Maybe if they see sane and nice they think, "nah . . . can't be good in bed."

Perhaps. That could be true for some guys. But I don't think most guys are going to let that suspicion keep them from getting naked with a woman in order to find out as long as they're attracted to her and think she's cool.
81
Looove that comic! Wish it updated a little more often, though...

And I'm also going to have to say that I'm sooooo over this whole porn argument. Can we move on now?
82
DTMFA. Disliking porn is one thing, but this woman apparently doesn't even like him to masturbate. This situation is far beyond the kinds of "find porn you BOTH can enjoy!" solutions some people have suggested.

@72 that sounds nice, doesn't it? Unfortunately an attractive sex-positive, pro-porn woman still has to fear the "slut" label, and will likely run into more than a few guys who thinks she's the kind of girl you fuck, but not the kind you marry. And it doesn't really take all that little to make men happy. My boyfriend is always wanting to like, talk about his feelings & be treated with consideration & stuff.
83
@79 -- I was gonna post a link to that, myself. Beat me to it...

Somebody needs to get this guy one of the t-shirts.
84
Man, on my first read-through I missed the "inspect the volume of my ejaculate" thing. Yeesh.

The trust in this relationship is damaged really, really badly - and it's mostly damaged by one person feeling like she "can't trust" the other not to do something that he shouldn't have to not do.

Sorry, TOPF, bro, but she's kind of a psycho and you need to either bring about some radical change in her ideas of what is acceptable in a relationship or just lose her. And since insecurity issues are so damned intractable, my vote is for the latter. Save yourself some grief.
85
They've been together and still only dating? They don't even live together? Is it because the guy knows he's dating crazy?
86
The psycho boyfriend equivalent is the one I had in high school who would rummage through the bathroom trash for bloody tampons to be really, really sure I had gotten my period and, therefore, wasn't pregnant. Not that he could be bothered to wear condoms...
87
There's a clinical name for this behavior .... what is it...?

Oh right: bitch be crazy. Run, dude.
88
@85,

Edit: They've been together for four years.
89
@4: "At low volume, all she hears is mumbles and whispers. But at high volume, the snitchy sperm are all "HE'S JERKING OFF TO PORN AGAIN!!!!""

You mean like this?
http://www.oglaf.com/cumsprite/3/
90
Straight women stop being so embarrassing pleeeeaaaaase.
91
Yep, Roma, you're describing me to a T.
And I'm nice and normal outside the bedroom.
AND I don't care if my bf watches porn (which seems to put me in an exclusive group, to judge by all the letters Dan has been running lately).

So why are these idiots sticking with psycho controlling, insecure (no doubt full of lots of inhibitions) women and why am I single?
92
I'm female, straight, married, and pretty hot (so says my husband). I have no problem at all with his porn, he has no problem with my porn, and occasionally we watch porn together. I don't get the whole "porn is cheating" thing. Porn is not cheating. Neither are dildos or dreams. It's possible we're not having enough sex (certainly ain't once a day!), but I can't think of a time in which either of our porn habits prevented us from having sex. Usually, it's more of a warm-up.

I think it's a situation whereby happy-with-their-sex-life folks don't write to Dan Savage. Lots of ladies are cool with their mens' porn habits, and vice versa.
93
To add to the fray and mayhem: It's not just batshit crazy insecure women who hate porn, it's also some feminists who are equating porn viewing with "deviant" sex acts like anal, and saying women who watch porn are "more likely to be raped." Seriously.

http://www.tinynibbles.com/blogarchives/…
94
You poor poor SOB. There are women out there that not only will enjoy a good porn flick with you but by themselves too! I totally agree with Dan, pitch this girl before she takes hold!
95
as one of the much-maligned feminists who has the audacity to question a dude's inalienable right to close-ups of the pink despite the skeezy situations that may arise in production, dissemination and after repeated exposure to porn, I gotta say this woman sounds batshit nuts.
let us not be painted with the same brush.
96
Can we stop with "Men are visual"? Of course they are. So are women. Humans are visual.

Porn is not made for women so of course we don't like it. The men are barely shown at all, the woman often looks like she's faking it or in pain (I guess men can't tell?) and "lesbian" porn is just two straight girls shoving things into each other. It's not sexy because it doesn't feel good.

Is there porn of people actually enjoying each other? Probably somewhere. But the most easily accessible porn is not that porn. Women who don't like porn have probably never seen that porn.

But it's not because women are not visual. The vast majority of the entire population is more visual.
97
Agree with you totally erin! As a fellow woman don't lump me in with that girl...not the same team!
98
@96 As a woman I've found that a lot of amature porn is right up my alley. I have the same complaints about pro stuff: is he jabbing something vital repeatedly in there? Why does she sound like a baby seal? Why is she wearing eyeshadow, mascara and lipstick to bed?
Anyways, with the non-pro stuff I find that you are more likely to find women who are doing it for fun, not as a job. Best porn I ever saw was this tiny french girl getting it from three huge black dudes at once. And she was giggling like she was getting the ride of her life. It was very refreshing, she looked like she was having a great time. Also, I once saw a pro-porno directed by a woman on late night cable. AWESOME. So, it does exsist and, thankfully, women friendly porn is getting easier to find.
99
Yay! Fellow Oglaf fans! I wish that they'd update more often too, but I often forget about it and then catch up all at once, so it sort of works out.
100
@96 what I wonder about porn and finding sex to watch that isn't this insane fake kabuki sex is if it's fun at all? i mean, without the weird body positions needed to see penetration, or the focus on timing and all, is it still appealing? Does watching porn where the woman is actually just enjoying herself unself-consciously and making the weird sex faces some of us (ahem) do still seem hot? I actually wonder and am not being rhetorical or anything, I am just not the right person to like, research that.
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@95: Spend much time at Twisty's site? Thought so.