Fighting Nuns!: No, not this kind. Two rival Yakima Valley convents, the Missionary Sisters of the Holy Ghost and the Sisters of Mary Immaculate Queen, are feuding over accusations of stolen cash and silver, forged business records and slander.

Bear Enters Political Fray: No, not this kind. A black bear mauled Bellevue City Council member, John Chelminiak, on Friday night.

Be Afraid!: (Of all the wrong things).

Too Little, Too Late?: Unions rally behind Democrats this fall.

Bill on Food Safety Is Stalled: Reasonable legislation is stuck in the Senate. I wonder how that could have possibly happened.

Montana GOP Says Outlaw teh Gays: Republicans have adopted a platform supporting, "the clear will of the people of Montana expressed by legislation to keep homosexual acts illegal." Party officials say this statement, included under the heading "crime," is an oversight. GOP Executive Director Bowen Greenwood claims that removing the statement never came up for discussion. For 12 years. Also, Bowen Greenwood totally sounds like the name of a gay porn star.

The Race for Governor of New York Gets Dirty: In a fun twist on mudslinging, Republican candidate for Governor (and wingnut teabagger) Carl Paladino sends a garbage scented mailer to 200,000 New York households.

Further Reasons to Avoid New York: In an attempt to combat the rat problem, city officials have introduced opossums to Brooklyn. Residents now face an overwhelming... wait for it... opossum epidemic. Between dirty stinkin' politics, tornados, rats, and opossums, it's a wonder anyone can stand the place.