This is Joseph. He is a proud Republican. He is attending the Rossi victory part at the Bellevue Hilton.

"Steampunk all the way," says Joseph. When the SECB tells Joseph where we're from—Seattle! Capitol Hill! The Stranger—he tells us that he's actually met Dan Savage in person. The SECB is impressed! We only get to see Dan Savage on TV!

"Dan Savage is the man," says Joseph. "He's awesome. I had the opportunity to meet him at a party. Great firm grip."

Joseph—who supports politicians who would like to strip the awesome Dan Savage of all of his civil rights—then introduces the SECB to his family.

"This is my son Joseph III," says Joseph, "and this is my liberal wife."

Joseph III is the cutest thing SECB has ever seen.