Let's run down some rules for committing a crime in a costume: Robbing banks in rubber masks of ex-presidents is a good idea...until you meet Johnny Utah. Wearing a ski mask is not as good, for obvious reasons. And picking fights in a full-blown dog costume is never a good idea, not even on Halloween.
According to a Seattle police report, officers were flagged down in the pre-dawn hours of Halloween in Fremont. One of the crowd of witnesses told police, "This guy just assaulted my friend, he went that way." Another witness helpfully told the cops that the suspect was wearing a brown dog costume.
The officers found the suspect (adult men in dog costumes are not hard to find) near the intersection of N 36th Street and Phinney Avenue N. The reporting officer notes, "His speech was slurred and his eyes were red and watery. He seemed very intoxicated."
basset hound suspect reportedly told officers that he and his girlfriend were waiting in line to enter LTD Bar & Grill in Fremont when a man cut in front of them and allegedly called the suspect's girlfriend fat. The suspect did not deny punching the victim at that point.
Upon further questioning, the report states that the suspect told police "the [victim] had thrown a pitcher of beer on him prior to the punching." The officers expressed surprise over the victim's supposed ability to obtain a pitcher of beer from outside of the bar and "[The suspect] agreed that that was strange."
Unsurprisingly, the victim's statement and that of other witnesses did not square up with the suspect's story. According to the victim, he actually "approached the [suspect] to tell [him] how thankful he was that [he] was breaking up a fight in the bar." The victim then reported the suspect "punched him in the face without saying anything to him."
The reporting officer writes, "[The victim] had blood coming out of his nose and on his face. His nose and jaw looked slightly offset like he might have a fracture."
If only more people were crazy-ass evangelicals who refused to celebrate "devilish" Halloween, we might not have fights like this one. Altar call, anyone?