In Case You Missed It: Mayor Mike McGinn has been billed for the door broken during the SPD's stupid pot bust, and creepy Michigan Assistant Attorney General Andrew Shirvell has been fired.

Kids 4 Sale: A humongous nationwide crackdown rescues 23 child prostitutes in the Puget Sound area, finds Somali gangs trafficked teens in Minnesota, Tennessee, and Ohio.

Kersploosh: 1 in 5 have dropped a cell phone in a toilet.

Speaking of Cell Phones and Bodily Fluids: "British health officials are hard at work on a new app that will allow users to pee into their cell phones and find out within minutes if they have an STD."

No Fatwa Necessary: Radical Islamic cleric urges slaughter of Americans.

Stranded Off the Coast of Mexico: 4,500 people on a cruise ship.

Today in White People [Blank] Like This and Black People [Blank] Like This: "A new report focusing on black males suggests that the picture of the achievement gap separating black from white students is even bleaker than generally known," reports the NYT.

'A Senior Moment': The 'only explanation' for Bill Gates Sr.'s kooky hit-and-run.

The Return of Conan: "A joyously self-referential return to late-night," crows the NYT, which notes, "[H]e lingered perhaps a little too long and self-indulgently on his émigré status."

Is Our Children Mauling?: Gig Harbor schools on bear alert.

Michael Jackson's Mother: Admits her son was addicted to plastic surgery (which is also a great way to get addicted to pain meds.)

Michael Jackson's Father: "I didn't beat Michael, I used a strap."

And finally, happy birthday to indie rock goddess Corin Tucker, born on this day in 1972. Tucker released a good solo record this fall, but she'll always be, first and foremost, the dominant voice of the awesome Sleater-Kinney. Here's an S-K classic, set to a photograph of a road sign.