• Eat me.

According to a professor at Kansas State University, it works—and it's not even unhealthy, per se.

Note that along with (a limited amount of) Hostess delights, Doritos, sugar cereals, etc., the professor also took vitamins, drank protein shakes, and ingested vegetables—"typically a can of green beans or three to four celery stalks" daily. It sounds like the worst diet ever.