Unstoppable is hilariousness the size of the Chrysler Building. My review is made entirely of spoilers, if you're into that sort of thing:

Ethan Suplee, one of a pair of numbnuts who are always screwing up ("You two numbnuts are always screwing up!"), is just supposed to be moving a train engine ("Number 777, otherwise known as triple-seven") from one place to another place, but after he puts it on autopilot and hops out, an invisible ghost magically pushes the lever to "THROTTLE." Then the train runs away, and since Ethan Suplee is too fat to run as fast as a train, the train becomes UNSTOPPABLE.

Okay. Next. The train is full of evil chemicals and headed for some urban areas where everyone (including orphans!) will surely die. The pair of numbnuts attempts to drive a truck alongside 777-otherwise-known-as-triple-seven and leap into its engine compartment, but they fuck it up, which means that this method of train stoppage will clearly never work. (NOTE TO EVERYONE EVER: "BECAUSE ETHAN SUPLEE DID IT WRONG THE FIRST TIME" IS NEVER A VALID REASON TO ABANDON A PLAN.)

Read and comment on the whole review HERE.

And here's me talking about Unstoppable and Due Date on the Filmdrunk Frotcast.