No U.S. World Cup: FIFA announces Russia and Qatar will host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, with the United States beaten out for the 2022 bid.

Seattle Erotic Art Festival Presents: Auction Beltane! Join us May 1st for a sexy, delicious evening.
Tickets $15-$250. Aphrodesia delivery menu, incredible auction items, live streamed performances.

New Tunnel Talking Point: Mayor says the state's multi-billion dollar deep-bore tunnel would move fewer cars per day than the Ballard bridge.

Free Willie: Criminal defense lawyer contests folk hero Willie Nelson's recent pot bust by Texas border patrol agents 100 miles from the Mexican border.

"It's supposed to be a checkpoint only for aliens, and [agents] overstep their authority all the time," [attorney Dick DeGuerin] says. "I've had several cases from that checkpoint and they just use the opportunity to check out anybody they want to. If you have long hair, if you're driving a van or it looks like you're from California or you look like a hippie, they do profiling."

Lazy Africa: Harvard professor argues that the continent could feed itself and become a major agricultural exporter in one generation if it really tried.

Not Racist: French court finds politician Jean-Marie Le Pen, whose National Front Party is so clearly and devotedly racist, is not responsible for anti-Islam election posters.

Human Remains: Found in a burning truck cab in Tacoma.

Nigeria Wants Cheney: Nigerian officials arrest 23 businessmen from Haliburton and other companies in connection with an alleged $180 million bribery scandal, say Cheney will also be charged.

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UR Car Stolen: The Seattle Police Department uses Twitter to report stolen vehicles.

Low Morale at Local Morgue: Investigation finds that the Snohomish County morgue has problems with autopsies that make it difficult for funeral directors to have open casket viewings. The morgue also suffers from a high turnover rate.