Yes, I have Twitter but I think Twitter is ridiculous. I get that it's new media couched in a social tool but I think it fails at both. As a news feed, it does nothing that other news feeds don't already do. As a social tool, it's the PG version of eavesdropping on someone's public phone conversation—only more scripted and scrubbed clean of how your relationship with your father might've turned you into one of those girls who just happens to cry a lot during sex. You know, the only details strangers care to hear about each other. Twitter is only good for celebrities, who use it to rein in their stupidity to 140 characters.

All of this is to say I was happy to read this new report on how only six percent of Americans use Twitter—basically nobody and their goddamn dog:

Unsurprisingly, the 18-29 age group represents the largest bloc of users on the site, and this demographic likes to share about their personal life, activities or interests. What may surprise some about the study, however, is that only six percent of American adults are using Twitter. While the site has nearly 175 million users worldwide, it still isn't nearly as culturally pervasive as its indirect competition, Facebook.

The article notes that teenagers have no use for Twitter, either. Which makes me either a crotchety old bitch or a crotchety young one. Regardless, I'm in good company.