As Kelly O posted earlier, in this video one Russian hits another Russian over the head with a shovel—repeatedly. (Though the second Russian seems to barely notice.)

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TRANSLATION:

VLADAMIR: (To friend sitting next to him) So anyway, I says to Boris, I says...

[FYODOR WALKS IN, HITS VLADAMIR ON HEAD WITH SHOVEL.]

VLADAMIR: Ow. Hey Fyodor, what's up with that? Why you want to hit me on the...

[FYODOR HITS VLADAMIR ON HEAD WITH SHOVEL.]

VLADAMIR: Ow. Seriously Fyodor, you could possibly hurt a person like that. Is there some sort of prob...

[FYODOR HITS VLADAMIR WITH SHOVEL, THIS TIME ON THE KNEE.]

VLADAMIR: Ow. Is this because I ate the last pierogi? Tell you what, I give you some nice black market jeans I pick up yesterday. Glooooria Vanderbilt! Huh? What you have to say about...

[FYODOR HITS VLADAMIR ON THE BACK WITH A SHOVEL]

VLADAMIR: Ow. HA! This time you miss, comrade. My head sits on top of my neck, and...

[FYODOR HITS VLADAMIR ON THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL]

VLADAMIR: Ow.

[VANYA ENTERS. STOPS FYODOR FROM HITTING VLADMIR ON THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL.]

VANYA: Fyodor! Please! You must stop hitting Vladamir on the head with the shovel. I... I... love him. Besides, the front of your shirt is covered with drool.

[LONG PAUSE. FYODOR SITS, ADJUSTS HIS GLASSES. LONG PAUSE.]

FYODOR: This is true? My shirt—it is covered with drool?

[LONG PAUSE.]

VLADAMIR: ... yes.

[LONG PAUSE.]

FYODOR: Life... is pain.

—— FIN ——