Later today I will attempt to break into Tim Keck's office, which gives access to the Crow's Nest, where Keck is sure to have all manner of contraband stockpiled in preparation for what he continually refers to as "the impending apocalypse." I will report on my discoveries.

UPDATE: I have picked more than one lock in my time, but tonight I was electrocuted at least once during my attempts. I have no source of light other than a cell phone, and my tools have proved inadequate. Tomorrow I will venture out of the office to visit a locksmith and resume undaunted.