I'm 24, gay guy, dating a guy for almost two years here who I believe is the love of my life. He's super hot, GGG, and our sex is absolutely AMAZING. Recently he received an email on Facebook from a popular gay porn site asking if he would be interested in doing a solo for them and then later down the road do scenes with other guys. We looked into it and its legit. The money they offered is fantastic and it's an all expense paid trip. I'm a fan of the site and think the videos are well done. We both have talked about how hot it would be if one of us or we were in porn but have never pursued anything. Now the opportunity has come up. I think if he wants to do it he should do it because... well... why not? He's turned on by it, I'm turned on by it, and fully support it. Our friends however, are not so supporting. EVERYONE has said "absolutely not" or has been absolutely negative towards the situation. Is there something we're missing here? Why is there such a stigma with this? It's not like he's running for office or in the public eye. He's just a server. Are our friends being irrational? What should we consider besides the obvious? Are we being delusional?

Sponsored
The Music Always Matters
No matter what, KEXP is here to help with music and community. Join us at 90.3 FM and KEXP.ORG.

Friends Irrationally Loathe Movies

Sent from the Savage Love App for iPhone

My response after the jump...

Your hot, GGG, super-amazing boyfriend is just a server... now.

The question he has ask himself, FILM, isn't what he's doing now. It's want he wants to be doing ten or twenty years from now.

Porn is forever, an indelible part of your permanent record, and the videos your boyfriend shoots while he's young and hot will follow him around for the rest of his life. Make porn for little cash in your early twenties—or for a free trip, or to explore your sexuality, or because it's a huge turn-on—and it can come back to haunt you years later. So, hey, maybe a misplaced concern for your boyfriend's future career prospects—whether they've managed to articulate that or not—explains your friends' reaction to this plan.

Or maybe your friends are be a pack of sex-negative hypocrites. Maybe they're the kinds of guys who "consume" porn but look down and resent the hot-enough-to-get-paid-to-do-it-on-camera men who appear in porn. Sometimes people who enjoy porn while judging/resenting porn stars react quite negatively when a friend—a person they already know and like—announces that he's going to make porn because it fucks with their stereotypes, preconceptions, and sex-negative bigotries.

Let's forget about your friends, FILM, and get back to your super-hot boyfriend: What does he want to do when he grows up? Is he sure that's what he wants to do? Is he sure that he wants to place limits on what he can do later—what if he changes his mind?—by making porn now? And is he comfortable handing a weapon to malicious exes and jealous co-workers? How will he feel if his family finds out he made porn? (And, yes, they will find out.) If the answers to those questions are "server," "positive," "yes," "absolutely," and "don't care," then he should go ahead and make porn.