...but gay guys? Not so much:

If men and women are profoundly different—and both science and common sense tell us they are—then an all-female couple is even more different from an all-male couple than either homosexual bond differs from a heterosexual union. This distinction helps explain the oft-noted quirk in public attitudes that sees stronger opposition and denunciation, in the Old Testament and elsewhere, to a physical relationship between two males and intimacy between two females. A physical connection between a female couple, like a physical connection between man and woman, is based primarily on acts of affection. The most common sexual practice between two men involves an act of aggression—inflicting more pain than pleasure for at least one of the parties. Even decisions by Congress, equating homosexual and heterosexual relationships, or erasing distinctions between the interaction between lesbians on the one hand and gay males on the other, cannot repeal politically incorrect realities.

So lesbian sex is okay—with Michael and with G-d—because lesbians don't have anuses, as I've pointed out, which means they can't do any of that aggressive assfucking that Michael finds so squickily fascinating. But gay men? All we do is assfuck and G-d hates assfucking because it's an act of aggression, you see, which is why G-d condemns gay assfuckers in the Old Testament—aggressive assfuckers and weeping assfuckees alike—and calls for gay assfuckers to be put to death (nothing aggressive about that!).

Um, gee. I don't mean to toss sand into Michael's lube, but... straight people have anal sex too. Lots of anal sex. And they like it.

And anyone who's "inflicting more pain than pleasure" during sex—anally, orally, vaginally—is doing it wrong.