The vampire-like hunger for fees now includes penalties on checking accounts that do not maintain "a certain balance" and accounts that fail "to meet a monthly direct deposit minimum."

Chase already imposes such fees. Customers of the former Washington Mutual, now owned by JPMorgan Chase, will see these fees next month.

Now is the time to recall those terrifying lines in Lone Ranger's “Barnabas Collins”:

[Barnabas’] eyes get red and his ears get dread/His teeth get long and he start to feel strong/When [he is on] the scene you hear a girl start to scream… Girl! Out the candle, take off your bangle, turn your neck upon the right angle/He is the best in the business/Barney chew your neck like Wrigley’s/Barney is the best in the business

"Capital is dead labour, that, vampire-like, only lives by sucking living labour, and lives the more, the more labour it sucks."