Obama's DOJ is still defending DOMA, a.k.a. the "defense of marriage" act (which attacks same-sex couples while doing absolutely nothing to defend or strengthen the marriages of opposite-sex couples*), which is pissing off the gays. But the Obama administration is no longer defending DOMA quite so aggressively and and viciously (no more comparisons of same-sex marriage to rape and incest)... which is pissing off the fey spokesfissures at those officially-designated anti-gay-hate groups.
How does Obama do it?
* You wanna defend straight marriage, haters? Make 'em stronger? National health care and a strengthened safety net and jobs. The end.