Well, now you have. VIP Art Fair is the first big fair to be held online. If you want to kill some time, check out the site, which is finally, after some glitches, working. It's not as killingly tedious as walking through a big convention center fair, and the art is, you know, not actually in front of you. So if an art fair is a very bad version of a museum, this is a very bad version of an art fair. The diminishments!

(You have to sign in, which takes two secs. To see prices, you have to pay for a VIP pass. But it's called VIP. I thought we were all VIPs. Never. Not in the art world.)