This police report starts out as a cut and dry robbery and turns into a story of hellish bureaucracy in South King County.

Here’s the gist of the situation. While riding Metro bus 125 through South Seattle on Wednesday, January 26 at 4:09 p.m., a teenager was approached by a large stranger attracted to his Northface jacket. The stranger allegedly ordered the teen, “give me your jacket." When the teenager refused, the man allegedly grabbed the jacket, pushed the teenager, and fled the bus. Three of his friends exited with him.

Meanwhile, two witnesses (one of them an off-duty Metro driver) called 9-1-1 to report the robbery. However, the emergency operators told both witnesses that no officers would be dispatched to the scene until the victim called to report the theft himself. The fact that he was unable to call himself, because he was busy being victimized, didn't change the operators’ minds. Not to be deterred, the off-duty bus driver then called Metro dispatch to contact a King County deputy. Metro dispatch was able to contact 9-1-1 but were also told that no officer would be sent to the scene. Eventually, the witness was able to contact SPD dispatch directly and an officer responded to the incident. Unfortunately, it was an SPD officer instead of a King County deputy—and the robbery took place outside of SPD's jurisdiction.

So the responding SPD officer couldn't do much in the way of investigating the robbery but nobly submitted a police report anyway. He writes in the police report, "I realize the call happened in King County Jurisdiction, however, the victim was freezing cold and had already been waiting for an extended period of time. Therefore, I felt a strong obligation to assist the juvenile victim of a violent offense."

What a sweet and noble man.

After the officer's report was complete, the Metro supervisor gave the young man a ride home. The suspect was never apprehended.

There are a few lessons to be gleaned from this story. First, make sure you’re not the victim of a crime while on a Metro Transit bus as it crosses the border between Seattle and unincorporated King County. Second, 9-1-1 is a joke when you call from South King County.